Already got asked if we're dating
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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