You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
