SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
