Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
