How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
