He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize