I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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