the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Houston, we have a blender
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
