yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize