If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
