"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My feet surprised me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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