finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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