after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
