There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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