I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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