That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
