Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
