I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
