I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
