Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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