i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
