I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
