Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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