everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
