yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
