I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
