During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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