Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
