is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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