So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
