so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
