Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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