i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
