When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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