I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
