im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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