Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
