Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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