Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
