why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
