i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
