my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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