ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
no, he came in my armpit
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
