i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
