your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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