big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
