Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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