Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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