You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
