I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
