My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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