i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
