Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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